Every Night When I Lay to Sleep...

I went to visit you today and it was much harder than I had anticipated.   Even with all the snow, it was obvious which spot was yours, it was surrounded with flowers and a frame with your picture.  I dusted all the snow off your plaque so I could leave another honourary dime, so that you would know that I was there.  To my surprise, there was a few dimes still there, frozen beside your name from previous visits. (About the dimes, I was told that if you find a dime, someone that has passed on is trying to contact you).

Every night when I lay down to go to sleep, a poem I wrote for you repeats through my head:

Every night I lay to sleep,

Wishing your soul I could keep.

And every morning that I awaken,

I am sad with how early you were taken.

 

I think of you so very often,

In my heart, you are never forgotten.

I wish I could talk to you even just once,

And hear your wisdom to give me guidance.

I hope you saw me there today and could hear my prayers.  I wish you could show me, somehow, the right path and re-assure me that I am making the right choices.   Can you see me?  Are you watching me?   Are you trying to contact me and I don't feel it?  I long and search for a way to connect with you and I struggle because I can't seem to get it right.  Are you there Mom?  And the grief continues.....

I really really miss you, do you miss me?

~ Paula